The "If Only's": What I Wish I Had Listened To Before Now

If only I had listened.

Don't worry.

I don't have unrealistic expectations that just because I say these statements one more time that those under the age of 22 will take heed and listen now.

But, if for some reason, you should choose to read on, I beg of you, take to heart these concepts and spare yourself.

You're going to make your own mistakes, but trust me when I say there are COUNTLESS ones I could have avoided had I simply listened.

That one task right now, listening, proves to be one of the hardest to do, but surely one of the most beneficial.

So, to younger individuals and a younger me, here's what I wish I had listened to before now.

People are always watching you: Scary, but true. Mom's use it as a scare tactic sometimes as in "you better behave because I have eyes everywhere," but the truth is, people are watching you and will determine their opinion of you based on your actions. Good or bad, right or wrong, it's the truth. What you do will either help you or haunt you in the future. The hard work you put in during college could be rewarded with a better job in the future. Or those pictures from that party one Friday night could come back to haunt you and cost you an interview opportunity. If you don't think employers have the ability and USE IT to check up on your social media presence, you're being ignorant. They look. They know. 

You are who your friends are: You're completely in control of your emotions, actions and thoughts and can act independent of the crowd you surround yourself with. WRONG. Whether they are good or bad, friends and company are influential and can in fact change you. If they're the right people, you can change for the better, but if they're wrong, they can easily lead you down the wrong path.

Just WAIT: Wait to make decisions until you've considered all options. Wait to act until you're not acting off of emotions. Wait on the Lord. Be still and wait. Life comes at you quickly. Waiting is hard. Waiting seems impossible at times, but you cannot imagine the blessings coming your way should you stop and pause. You'll also spare yourself much heartache from being indecisive, following the wrong voices or even making the wrong decision.

When the right person comes, you'll know: Not just "think," you'll KNOW. There were a few guys I "thought" I could see myself marrying. However, it was not until I met my husband, Jeff, that I KNEW this was the guy I was spending the rest of my life with. I told one of my best friends, Anna Phillips, just one week after our first date that I was going to marry him. I'm not telling you that the moment you meet them you'll know, but at some point, you need to know this is the person you cannot live without, not just someone you "think" you can spend forever with. Forever is a long time, and it's better to get it right. Before I fell for his looks or his charm (which he has plenty!), I fell for his heart and his love for God and people. A good spouse has a good heart and THAT is where your search needs to start.

A relationship does not define you: I know how hard this one can be, especially at 17 when prom is around the corner and you don't have a date, or when college decisions are coming and you & your significant other are looking at different schools. HEAR THIS. If they love you, they will not turn your decisions into, "it's this or me." That is unfair to you mentally in trying to weigh the odds and pulls every heartstring and let's be honest, if it becomes emotional, there is no mental aspect anymore. Emotions blind you, no matter how wise you think you are.

You don't know it all: In fact, you don't know anything. Take offense if you want, but I've been there and I thought I knew everything, but I could not have been further from the truth. Realizing this is liberating. Realizing this allows you to move forward and LEARN. 

Seek wise council: Remember how you don't know it all? Well, no one does, but there are others who are much wiser than you. So, learn from them! It seems so simple! Find a few people from all walks of life that you can draw from and even model aspects of yourself after them. If you look up to them, they must be doing something right. 

Find at least three people from different walks of life that you can look to for guidance. For example, look to people your age, people a few steps ahead of you in life, and those who have been there, done that and are wiser for it. 

For me, the people my age include some of my best friends..Anna Phillips, Lauren Nash and Caitlin Drinkard. They are constantly an encourager and uplift me. They make me better. 

Those that are a few steps ahead of me that I look up to include Kristen Chastang, Ashley Wilkes, Ryann Lashley and Elizabeth Lambert. These ladies were all older youth in our church while I was growing up and I looked up to them then and still do to this day. They're all positive, Godly role models who I admire. 

For those that have survived through the early years and now have wisdom to pass along, obviously I look to my mother. Mom's are hard to listen to at first, but as you grow older, that's cherished. I also look to some of my friend's mothers including Susan Phillips and then some of the women from various walks of life that I've come to know...Beth Bruner, Karon Lee and many others.

Put God FIRST: This one is saved for last for a reason. If you don't remember anything else I've said, please take only this one. It could honestly all have been summed up here. Even if you don't choose to put God first, get this, HE STILL IS. He is the Alpha & Omega, the beginning & the end, and the first & the last. He was, is and will forever be. He has called you to follow him, and following means allowing him to lead. Guess what? Following him leads you to the safest place in this world. Standing behind Christ, in the protection of his love and grace.

Here's to hoping you take the advice I never did and spare yourself unnecessary turmoil in this life.